reasons

This holidays feel like a long weekend. So soon and it's Thursday night already...hmmm.

Anyway, camp FOC (Focus on Christ) was

• definitely not foc XD
• very prayer-filled
• more chillax than most camps, for me
  
• so awesome! Because I know that it was one of the best decisions I made

Why? Because it helped me, to come to terms with so much of turmoil in me. I had to come face to face with my fears and my past and all that I felt about it.

It's a lot to deal with. But I thank God, and gratitude is good :)

Anyhow, I am not really looking forward to being older. I remember last year it just came and left, and like any other day, life just went on.

Maybe it's because it is more significant so I have a relative point to measure time? And it's scary cuz time is passing like a bullet train?

Or maybe I still want to 'teen teen dei' but I only have this year left.

Or whatever. I can come up with hundreds of excuses. Huh.

Maybe I'm just scared and scared to be disappointed and scared to do anything fun/extreme/outragous, anymore. Too much risk. Argh. Stupad. So stupad.

:(