Like a pineapple amongst apples

I used to question my parents, on why they don't just stop doing something if they didn't like it.

Why pretend? Don't people know that all that diplomacy is fake?

I still don't fully understand it. If time is so precious, and if life is so short, why do we spend it on people we don't like, and doing things we don't enjoy? Necessities (for example, servicing your car) aside, why do we have to be like that?

I can think of a few things that are good about it, though, I think like when I was in my teens, I still am a social misfit. I don't know..what to say, how to say it, how to react, and whether I should take it personally. And yes, it gets pretty technical for me.

It's so natural, for some, and from them I get things like, "It doesn't matter what you say, just say it!" or, "It's doesn't matter how you say certain things!". But, have you ever felt like a whole ongoing conversation just fell flat because you said something in a certain way? I feel it deep in my soul. Ever felt so uncomfortable you just want to leave the table? I do, and I leave.

Why can't I? I mean that not sarcastically, but seriously. Is that some social rule that someone not involved in a conversation leaving the table is equivalent to making a scene?

Maybe I shouldn't get too caught up in all these. It's not me, and if I want to be me, I shouldn't worry about it.

Unlikely new year's resolution.

Hi blog, it's me again. Here. Again. Amazing, isn't it..How it always comes back to the same square, named One.

It's been since so many years, but now I will officially name this blog my sad blog, as it's where I go to write whatever feelings that I have been keeping inside, which is normally sad, if it's hidden. Perhaps it's something like my virtual bolster. *hugs tight*

Sometimes I wonder if I will mess up my life.

People always say what we do now affects our future. I wonder how my future will be like.

I wonder if the decisions I make sometimes are out of pride..something that I always say just plain ruins relationships, any kind.

And I wonder sometimes if I could be better, then maybe I won't ruin so many things. Wouldn't always make people angry. Wouldn't make people feel awkward.

And I wonder sometimes, if I could live without prejudice, without judging, without preconceptions, and with more love, more understanding, and more objectivity.

I wish I could be truly fair. And I'm not talking about my skin colour.

But I wish I wouldn't keep scores.

Scores of those who embarrassed me, who spoke a harsh word to me, who laughed at me, who scolded me mercilessly, who hurt me unknowingly.

I wish I can always understand where people are coming from as they talk, and not make my own judgements.

..and sometimes, I'd wish to be the me I was in high school. So do you, so do you.

crestfallen

Sleepy, but not exhausted so I'm awake chilling and surfing the net..it's been a month since I've started at Taylor's lakeside.. :) It's been pretty packed and I love the campus. I'm so satisfied..

But today I'm in denial. I know something's wrong, but it's just to easy to let it slide and pretend it's all okay. It hurts inside. At the end of the day, I'm alone and lonely and it's this big giant rock hiding under a leaf. I've so many friends that I cherish, but.. there's a gap today.

no tears on my guitar :)))

Heheh.

:)

What am I grinning about? :) :)

Well well weweell..

Only three days back, I asked Zhe Xian to teach me how to play the guitar, and he agreed enthusiastically!

Like, finally, right??? :D

I asked him to teach me because I was thinking that I hadn't been doing much this year besides working, but I actually wanted to pick up something new - a new hobby, or a skill - this year. And it just fell into place, the idea. After all so many people have been suggesting it, and that it was something we could do together too. Heheh. Besides, it's free :P So that's why I asked him!

So yesterday, we had the second lesson! Some important basics and how-tos, and notes!

By the way, from the very start, he made me promise not to be frustrated and/or annoyed when I can't do something that he taught me, to set some ground rules, and that I must be serious too, or he won't teach me, haha. BUT.. I broke the first promise just now..BECAUSE he kept saying how lousy I was, albeit for only a short moment, so I (sorta) flipped, and then he got surprised when he saw how red and lined the tips of my fingers were :(! And about being serious...I'm always the one scolding my teacher for not being serious!! I'm the angellic student! 0:)

Anyway, I'm currently learning Colbie Caillat's Bubbly! Learning the first four lines first, heheh, it's not bad not bad and I'm getting the hang of it ;) though the strumming needs a teeny weeny more practice...AWHH come on it was just my second lesson!

Well so far, ....I LIKE it! It's fun and simple (for now!) and I don't have to spend much, just needed to replace the strings on my brother's guitar. He stopped playing because one of the strings kept breaking - the 5th string - and he said it was too expensive replacing it. But mine seems okay for now :) And I just tuned the guitar myself! *grins in triumph, again* :P ..after seeing Zhe Xian do it for about, five times! Haha! Well, new strings need to get used to their new home to settle in the right tune!

I'm really glad to learn something new :) :) :)

Strum, strum!

this is what dreams are made of

OMG I just recalled yesterday, I was just talking to Zhe Xian and I don't remember how but we went on talking and talking, and I told him that I used to be such a big fan of Hilary Duff's!! My favourite Disney star..Lizzie McGuire woooooohoooooo!

Ps: Zhe Xian was quite a fan of Hilary's too..! XD He justifies it by saying she was pretty popular those days..which was true :) :)

Don't feel surprised but I even cut my hair, myself, to have a fringe like hers on her show! x) It looked quite..childish, I must say xD

Hahah at that time I practically memorized her songs by singing them a thousand times!! At that time I was scarcely using the internet, let alone to find lyrics. So I would record the song on TV using my walkman (omgosh to think about it, the walkman's so huge!!) and I'd replay the song until I got every word right! *grins in triumph*

And yes, the Lizzie McGuire Movie! OMG that was my most favourite movie ever! You know it had all the ingredients for a successful tween movie! There was the bestfriend, the holiday, the superstardom, the songs..the boy! Haha! I can't believe it, I was in every way a teenage girl! Looking back, I feel that I was quite dorky! >.<

Yesterday I've also found out that Hilary Duff has been married for about a year, and she has a bun in the OVEN now! Aih, so we're all adults now, huh?

Oh well..Flashbacks are ever so entertaining XD





It's so yesterday, so yesterday, havent you heard that I'm gonna be okayy..!



Ps: I still can remember most of the lyrics to her songs, omg! XD ♥

still

Even after these couple o' years...

You still make my heart melt like ice cream
You still make a great conversation partner
You still call me beautiful repeatedly
You still make me laugh, and snort! XD

Even after these couple o' years...

I still love your beautiful eyes
I still look forward to our simple dates
I still want to impress you much
I still feel so happy seeing your smile

:) :) :)

You mean so much to me! *pretends to strum guitar!* XD

Baby Face Beauty

Talking about Korean Drama, :) :) :) I completed the whole series of Baby Face Beauty! The evergreen Jang Na-Ra who is Lee So-Yeong in this fashion themed drama plays it well, as well as having much chemistry with the main actor..they're both very cute together! Him with his small Korean eyes that almost disappears as he grins childishly at her and her bowl-cut hair..well actually that is pretty annoying. Haha.

Her character is of course almost like a Cinderella's, except with two pursuers later on. Having to work hard all her life only to get fired at the mature age of 34, her unaging face aids her in getting a job (a temp job that leads to big projects!) by pretending to be her 25 year-old sister, who is an aspiring model.

Jang Na-Ra :) :)

The left is the guy who is 7 years younger, and on the right is the divorced president

Jang Na-Ra, un-auntified XD

What wonders make up does huh..? :)