The fact is, i am not happy. That's it. I'm not happy, not happy with what's going on, not happy with school, not happy with friends, not happy with myself. Yet if I were to keep dwelling on everything I am unhappy about I would go on for the longest time and sob my heart out while gasping for air because I'd be. As simple as that.
But who are we to judge everything that is going in our lives, to say whether that is right, or morally wrong? Who are we that whatever we do we think it's for the best for us and for others, but in fact it's for own selfish needs, desires and gratification? And what am I talking about, I just deviated from my topic.
And now it is almost like my angel and devil sides are bigger that usually, debating all the time, never giving me space to just, be. And between what I should do and what I did, the 'good side' keeps telling me what I should do and yet there's the other side that says maybe i should explore and I'm confused because I can't decide and I actually, now I can't tell you which one is the bad or good side already because I'm so undecided!
I don't even know where I am going with this and I just want to rant and vent everything out here. At least I'm sure of that. Or not. Sigh. Help.
But who are we to judge everything that is going in our lives, to say whether that is right, or morally wrong? Who are we that whatever we do we think it's for the best for us and for others, but in fact it's for own selfish needs, desires and gratification? And what am I talking about, I just deviated from my topic.
And now it is almost like my angel and devil sides are bigger that usually, debating all the time, never giving me space to just, be. And between what I should do and what I did, the 'good side' keeps telling me what I should do and yet there's the other side that says maybe i should explore and I'm confused because I can't decide and I actually, now I can't tell you which one is the bad or good side already because I'm so undecided!
I don't even know where I am going with this and I just want to rant and vent everything out here. At least I'm sure of that. Or not. Sigh. Help.
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