..liFetime etchiNgs..

Unlikely new year's resolution.

2012-01-16T00:38:00.001+08:00

Hi blog, it's me again. Here. Again. Amazing, isn't it..How it always comes back to the same square, named One.

It's been since so many years, but now I will officially name this blog my sad blog, as it's where I go to write whatever feelings that I have been keeping inside, which is normally sad, if it's hidden. Perhaps it's something like my virtual bolster. *hugs tight*

Sometimes I wonder if I will mess up my life.

People always say what we do now affects our future. I wonder how my future will be like.

I wonder if the decisions I make sometimes are out of pride..something that I always say just plain ruins relationships, any kind.

And I wonder sometimes if I could be better, then maybe I won't ruin so many things. Wouldn't always make people angry. Wouldn't make people feel awkward.

And I wonder sometimes, if I could live without prejudice, without judging, without preconceptions, and with more love, more understanding, and more objectivity.

I wish I could be truly fair. And I'm not talking about my skin colour.

But I wish I wouldn't keep scores.

Scores of those who embarrassed me, who spoke a harsh word to me, who laughed at me, who scolded me mercilessly, who hurt me unknowingly.

I wish I can always understand where people are coming from as they talk, and not make my own judgements.

..and sometimes, I'd wish to be the me I was in high school. So do you, so do you.

crestfallen

2011-10-10T22:10:00.003+08:00

Sleepy, but not exhausted so I'm awake chilling and surfing the net..it's been a month since I've started at Taylor's lakeside.. :) It's been pretty packed and I love the campus. I'm so satisfied..

But today I'm in denial. I know something's wrong, but it's just to easy to let it slide and pretend it's all okay. It hurts inside. At the end of the day, I'm alone and lonely and it's this big giant rock hiding under a leaf. I've so many friends that I cherish, but.. there's a gap today.

no tears on my guitar :)))

2011-08-18T02:45:00.004+08:00

Heheh.

:)

What am I grinning about? :) :)

Well well weweell..

Only three days back, I asked Zhe Xian to teach me how to play the guitar, and he agreed enthusiastically!

Like, finally, right??? :D

I asked him to teach me because I was thinking that I hadn't been doing much this year besides working, but I actually wanted to pick up something new - a new hobby, or a skill - this year. And it just fell into place, the idea. After all so many people have been suggesting it, and that it was something we could do together too. Heheh. Besides, it's free :P So that's why I asked him!

So yesterday, we had the second lesson! Some important basics and how-tos, and notes!

By the way, from the very start, he made me promise not to be frustrated and/or annoyed when I can't do something that he taught me, to set some ground rules, and that I must be serious too, or he won't teach me, haha. BUT.. I broke the first promise just now..BECAUSE he kept saying how lousy I was, albeit for only a short moment, so I (sorta) flipped, and then he got surprised when he saw how red and lined the tips of my fingers were :(! And about being serious...I'm always the one scolding my teacher for not being serious!! I'm the angellic student! 0:)

Anyway, I'm currently learning Colbie Caillat's Bubbly! Learning the first four lines first, heheh, it's not bad not bad and I'm getting the hang of it ;) though the strumming needs a teeny weeny more practice...AWHH come on it was just my second lesson!

Well so far, ....I LIKE it! It's fun and simple (for now!) and I don't have to spend much, just needed to replace the strings on my brother's guitar. He stopped playing because one of the strings kept breaking - the 5th string - and he said it was too expensive replacing it. But mine seems okay for now :) And I just tuned the guitar myself! *grins in triumph, again* :P ..after seeing Zhe Xian do it for about, five times! Haha! Well, new strings need to get used to their new home to settle in the right tune!

I'm really glad to learn something new :) :) :)

Strum, strum!

this is what dreams are made of

2011-08-16T18:16:00.003+08:00

OMG I just recalled yesterday, I was just talking to Zhe Xian and I don't remember how but we went on talking and talking, and I told him that I used to be such a big fan of Hilary Duff's!! My favourite Disney star..Lizzie McGuire woooooohoooooo!

Ps: Zhe Xian was quite a fan of Hilary's too..! XD He justifies it by saying she was pretty popular those days..which was true :) :)

Don't feel surprised but I even cut my hair, myself, to have a fringe like hers on her show! x) It looked quite..childish, I must say xD

Hahah at that time I practically memorized her songs by singing them a thousand times!! At that time I was scarcely using the internet, let alone to find lyrics. So I would record the song on TV using my walkman (omgosh to think about it, the walkman's so huge!!) and I'd replay the song until I got every word right! *grins in triumph*

And yes, the Lizzie McGuire Movie! OMG that was my most favourite movie ever! You know it had all the ingredients for a successful tween movie! There was the bestfriend, the holiday, the superstardom, the songs..the boy! Haha! I can't believe it, I was in every way a teenage girl! Looking back, I feel that I was quite dorky! >.<

Yesterday I've also found out that Hilary Duff has been married for about a year, and she has a bun in the OVEN now! Aih, so we're all adults now, huh?

Oh well..Flashbacks are ever so entertaining XD

It's so yesterday, so yesterday, havent you heard that I'm gonna be okayy..!

Ps: I still can remember most of the lyrics to her songs, omg! XD ♥

still

2011-08-16T01:35:00.004+08:00

Even after these couple o' years...

You still make my heart melt like ice cream
You still make a great conversation partner
You still call me beautiful repeatedly
You still make me laugh, and snort! XD

Even after these couple o' years...

I still love your beautiful eyes
I still look forward to our simple dates
I still want to impress you much
I still feel so happy seeing your smile

:) :) :)

You mean so much to me! *pretends to strum guitar!* XD

Baby Face Beauty

2011-08-03T03:03:00.004+08:00

Talking about Korean Drama, :) :) :) I completed the whole series of Baby Face Beauty! The evergreen Jang Na-Ra who is Lee So-Yeong in this fashion themed drama plays it well, as well as having much chemistry with the main actor..they're both very cute together! Him with his small Korean eyes that almost disappears as he grins childishly at her and her bowl-cut hair..well actually that is pretty annoying. Haha.

Her character is of course almost like a Cinderella's, except with two pursuers later on. Having to work hard all her life only to get fired at the mature age of 34, her unaging face aids her in getting a job (a temp job that leads to big projects!) by pretending to be her 25 year-old sister, who is an aspiring model.

Jang Na-Ra :) :)

The left is the guy who is 7 years younger, and on the right is the divorced president

Jang Na-Ra, un-auntified XD

What wonders make up does huh..? :)

2011-07-29T00:18:00.005+08:00

Recently I have started watching K-dramas again. OooooHHH the cute guys!! AHHH I can't get enough of it! Seriously, I've been sleeping at the break of dawn...4am..5am..6 AM!

My current obsession: HEARTSTRINGS! This drama is currently showing in Korea and they release two episodes every week..Ahhh I love the different concept (cougar-cub almost-relationships, anyone?) and the whole musical theme too because they are preparing for their university's centennial anniversary, which is a pretty big thing if you are the lead actress in the play! *sighs*

One of the official posters :) I really this one

Gyu Won with her impressive gayageum!

Classic emo-cute-handsome guys that girls wanna save! Not a good picture but I couldn't really find one that catches the *girls SQUEALS!* well XD

You pull my heartstrings... :)

*hearts*

tough story, tough cookie

2011-07-03T01:02:00.003+08:00

What if I turn so jaded I can't go back anymore?

What if my wishes don't come true because they are the wrong things to wish?

What if everytime I look at you I see things that I can't have, that you have?

What if I were a rebel, and have things the easy way out?

What if I am contented? What if I never hope and dream so far again? What if I never have children and never build a family? Never hurt any one of them and never give them hope I can't help to fulfil.

What if I wanted people to be honest? What if I didn't want to have any salesman talk anymore? What if I were a boy?

--------------------------------------------------------------

I can only say:

"Every family has their own story too difficult to recite."

tell me

2011-07-02T00:10:00.002+08:00

When I tell you to find out how to fix your problem, you blame it on some one else not doing it. Am I talking about how someone else should deal with things?

When I tell you to stop fretting and use your energy and wasted emotion to think about how to fix it, you say that the bank will chase after you of you don't pay up. Am I asking you not to pay the bank?

When I tell you that you are not listening, you say that your life is difficult and you won't be able to survive.

When I ignore you, you cry and hit the wall.

When will you start listening and start educating yourself?

I'm hurting, but I'm grateful

2011-06-25T22:44:00.004+08:00

At the back of my heart and my mind I still remember the time I shouted "WHY, WHY, WHY".I can't go back to the way I was before I knew what was happening - I have to be much more responsible now and I can' afford to go as the wind takes me. Sometimes it seems that I lack the passion for life. Take it as you will. I don't allow myself a lot of things, and I try not to disturb my mom too much ferrying me around. Eventhough this week's been the worst I kept it in until now where I'm done with my work and with everything else before I start crying at the horror of it. Although I don't have my own room anymore I still have my own mind, my own decisions that I get to make. I don't allow myself big purchases and sometimes wish for free money to come in. I AM envious of people who can just buy things as they fancy (I always have this one particular guy and one particular girl in mind when I think about this), or ask their parents to get them stuff. Their wishlist is ever expanding, and mine is just so the negatives don't multiply. And that I can afford to buy some things that I like, or that when I have a craving I can sometimes give in to it. I clean the house and do the laundry regularly and tidy up the living room so that my mom doesn't come back to a nest of things to do. When I started working I went on and on eventhough it was difficult to face the scoldings and naggings and the 'drill', until yesterday during my farewell when I heard praises of me being a fast learner and possessing good communication skills, and having a smiling face. It was really worth it. It means I've done a good job. When I am at home I have to learn to forgive quickly, and when I am out I have to learn to zip it up and throw it all behind me for awhile, and when I am at work I have to learn to be responsible and efficient and not let personal issues bother me. I treasure the days of escape work has provided me - and the happiness that comes with it - over being able to laze at home for hours and hours doing nothing. I learn to control my emotions well, sadness more than anything else, so I don't continue to wallow over the same thing over a stretch of time, with exceptions of course. And I have seen what good English even young children (8 years old!) can come up with! Inspiring!

All in all, I remind myself that I am not alone, it's not that bad (things could be much worst), and I still have friends that can see me the way I am, and with no obligations to look at my background. I guess that is why I don't throw my story around. I want people to see what I can do when I am away from it. I know that I can. Everyone else should know it too.

So, I am hurting, but I am grateful. Grateful to be the person I am. Grateful that I am still capable. That anything that happened hasn't stolen that away from me.

Heheh, my cat just came over to greet me at the couch. Got to go now! :)

confusion

2011-05-29T19:58:00.003+08:00

What is this that I see in your eyes..

Regret?

Hatred?

Embarassment?

When I reprimanded you for your own good, you turned away and refused to meet my eye. When I held you close you stay still only a second before squirming away in discomfort.

Maoh Maoh, why DON'T you love me back the same way?!

Hmph.

P/s:Please wash your face more often and clean the eye poop that I see in your eyes!!

my dearest

2011-03-20T20:17:00.004+08:00

Dear Zhe Xian,

Firstly, thank you for a really nice present, and so much thought put into it..even the wrapping!! -.-'' haha.

You make me smile so much, you lift up my spirits, and I adore you tremendously for being this joy ball that keeps on rolling and rolling..hehe :)

I am thoroughly grateful that we can talk like best friends do and have this amazing chemistry, and that even when we don't agree on something we agree to disagree (or find a common ground).

And I am glad that despite growing up - I'm no more a TEEN!!! - we can still be childish (and I mean WE! not just ME!! ) and laugh about silly things like RB's Friday XD

Also thank you for the nice dinner of tom som and fried chicken and kailan and rice in My Elephant...the soup was so delicious and DELIGHTFUL and the chicken just nice....and I don't mind introducing you to new eating places actually as long as I don't run out of suggestions. Hehe and although Kee said guys should be the ones bringing girls around, technically you still do 'cause you drive almost every time :D so it's still counted!!

AND thank you for being such a sweetheart...for every time you call me beautiful or cute or when you hold my hand deliberately and tell me that you love me, and call me a princess when I clearly look unlike one...or when I'm upset and you feel it too and you comfort me..thank you for all of that. **You are clearly one smart cookie when it comes to complimenting girls X)**

I am so glad to have you too :D

Lots of love,

Karina

hugs & kisses!

2011-03-18T11:06:00.001+08:00

TAMAN SEA PPEEEPS! I miss you guys! Can't wait to meet up tonight/tmr morning!

this that here there!

2011-03-15T21:44:00.003+08:00

I am having a four-day break soon! Wahahaahaaaa...

*smiles* :D

For this coming long weekend I have a few things in mind that I might (or might not! :() do...

Hot Air Balloon FIESTA!

Balloons are so dreamy..they represent the opposite of the weight we carry everyday..due to gravity xD and the best part about hot air balloons is that you get to go up high into the sky, experience the giddiness and the height and the rush..without jumping out of a plane!!

Theatre!

I saw the article on this play last week and I was really drawn to it. Creativity ain't my strongest point but in my childhood days I WAS involved in many performances in school and also in competitions..so perhaps some forms of performing arts do rekindle those pleasant feelings.. :)

FORMULA ONE!

Uhm......maybe not. Anyway it's only here in April haha =P

Hmm..what else..? I guess I'll update this list when I get some other ideas!

lalalalallaaaaaala!

2011-03-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

whenever i feel inadequate or inferior to 'the standards in this world'...i try to remember there's at least one person out there who loves me just the way i am.. :)

besides relatives of course hahaha.

whew my blog is d-d-dddusty!

2011-01-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

I'm already meeting too many strangers at work..i just need time to settle down not to hoo-haa more of my life. and..the novelty of this job is fading..

I like it, somehow I do. It's very tangible the work that I do. but it's repetitive..and frustrating when co-workers just aren't working..and the few hours that I have left free for the day..uhhhhg.

new year's day once more

2011-01-01T13:21:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year you guys!! :)

--------------------------------------------------------------
When you said my mom always sound very tense the times when you overheard on the phone, it's true. It's new year's day and still the same, early morning shouting and arguing. I've gotten used to it. Unlike the early days when I used to be so concerned and possibly terrified.

This happens when one gets too jaded and the other, never growing up. Both sides start to never listen and it never stops.

Sometimes I think my brother tries to be more like a parent to me than a sibling. It's nice having an older brother.

yes yes yes yes no no

2010-12-27T00:19:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas peepz!

I just spent Boxing Day at home completing a new book, Life In Rewind, a true story about a guy who developed a very severe form of OCD ever since the mother who filled his childhood with memories of love died of cancer and he, looking from a distance as his mother struggled with taking in her last breath, just a boy, never had a closure from that incident. Instead, he was constantly being uprooted, shifting houses, staying with his aunt and uncle, fearing for his father's life, that maybe if he didn't mentally or physically reverse what he did or if he stopped doing something at an odd number of times, his loved ones would die. His rituals of counting and recounting caused him 6 hours just to get from the basement to the phone upstairs. It was so bad that at one point in his life, he couldn't bear the trouble it took to shower or go to the bathroom - so he lived with the stench and grime in the basement of the house, not showering in over a year.

He lived with the mantra "Time equals progression, and progression equals death" - so if he did something once, he had to repeat it twice, or a hundred times, or up to 5-digits, as long as it was an even number and it 'felt right'- all that just to 'erase the event', as if it didn't happened, and time would stand still, and he would keep everyone he loved alive.

This story was about how it all happened, and the doctor, occupied with memories of deaths in the Army during the war, who helped Ed Zine learn to manage his OCD through building trust and then friendship.

I know, I know, what a way to spend the season. To be honest though, it was one of the most sincere and real book I've ever read and I could somewhat grasp how his illogical mind made him the way he was. The best part was, he trained his mind so well he had photographic memory. I think that really exacerbated his condition, not being able to forget. AND the illness feeds its own vicious cycle, because he knew it himself that it was not logical to do things like those and he felt ashamed that other people had to be pulled into his obsession. Feeling the despair and anxiety, that sparked more rituals to adhere to and more hoarding of things and recounting until he felt just right.

Goodness gracious.

happy thoughts

2010-12-03T00:42:00.007+08:00

Heyya, :) finally a break! (I almost typed that as bread..keke random)

After three consecutive days of exam papers, and much disappointment and self comforting..lol I took a break tonight. I was sooo exhausted yesterday my whole self was just plainly melting into the bed! Lol and I had a good sleep.

Talking about exams..can you imagine, our papers were scheduled to start at 2pm every day! A nice rainy morning turned so sunny and warm! The ceiling fan right above me creaks and croaks so I switched it off.. and then the weather changed as suddenly and it rained and I got a little sore throat and and and...

Hehe..

Anyways..Christmas is coming!! But before that, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Valerie Ooi!! Keke though last time I always referred to you as my brother's girlfriend, you've graduated to now being referred to as Valerie!! XD

I love how Christmas and birthdays are associated with presents! It's so wonderful receiving surprises and just plain unwrapping the presents is a fun in itself(a box in wrapping paper is NOT counted!) :):):) I kinda like the mystery and the curiosity and definitely the thought behind it too..somewhat similar to finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow~

Haha I was thinking, since I made a comment about the rain I might as well talk about the rainbow too. I really miss the surprise of a double rainbow:)

:)

being normal is weird

2010-11-26T20:17:00.002+08:00

I was reading one of my old books, and it says there "Everyone is Normal Until You Know Them". Haha :)

Ad there I was, thinking how true is that.

I don't know how many times, funnily, I said I just want to be normal..and yet only now I've come to be reminded that no one is honestly 'normal'. Ie, everyone is WEIRD!!

You know how they always tell you you're special and there is no one else around like you? What they mean, is that you're so weird, there's no one else who is like you. Haha, that doesn't mean that 'you're so WEIRD no one is weirder than you' but more like, everyone is weird in their own ways, so we've got to tolerate each other's intrinsic nature.

Where I am going with this post is that...I am weird. SOOO weird. But that doesn't mean that I'm an alien in this world. If I am, I am an alien in an alien's world. The thing is that, I forget that people ARE different. We grow up in different places, with different values, forging different habits. We know that.

And the thing is...I don't know. I don't really know what's up with this life, y'know?

P/s: I'm wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts...but you are the best thing that's ever been mine.

tangled thoughts

2010-11-18T22:34:00.002+08:00

The first paper is hardly five days away, the pressure is builiding, my mind is running crazy.

Ah it's been a long time since I was here, saying anything. I kinda miss you, blog.

Honestly there has been so much going on and I really shouldn't be here. But dang, am I bored of telling myself what I should do and what I shouldn't do. Maybe the stricter I am with myself, the more I mess up terribly.

Then again, maybe not. Maybe I'm just rebellious for the sake of being. Perhaps the whole thought of being stereotyped scares me, so I do everything to become unpredictable. But the unpredictability itself, it turns to be so burdensome, it's so irresponsible, so frustrating. That is, frustrating to be with me.

I too feel frustrated. I hope that there is a book I can give to unravel things so confusing. I feel burdened for you.

But now, now I have this thing going on, for a month more. And I just needed some pressure off and away.

You know, all these sounds just oh so familiar.

have I not sent you?

2010-10-24T22:55:00.005+08:00

Even in times of turbulence I love the fact that there are willingness and openness to talk about things instead of shutting off entirely or getting aggressive. I hope no one is on the verge of starting wars .........

I know that things in Youth haven't been going so well, and many people are discouraged feeling that their needs are not met, and perhaps feeling a little awkward/unsatisfied in their new groups with new people and new materials.

What I want to say is, hold on and press on. Change is coming, and as redundant as it sounds, I just want to reiterate that there will be something different to look forward too.

Know that your plight is not treated with a closed eye...or two closed eyes :)

For now focus on what you've got to do and do it well, and more than that, do it with excellence remembering the purpose and focus of it all (camp committee!!)

Judges 6:14
Then the LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the might of yours,and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?"

camp verse!

ps:sign up for camp!

2010-10-20T23:23:00.002+08:00

My shoulders are tense, my eyes blurry and tired, my attention diverted...

I feel burdened, tied to the fact that I should feel positive about things that seem too far-fetched.

Now.

2010-10-14T14:30:00.002+08:00

I am so amazed at people's talents.

There is one who can hear words that seem like child's talk to me or just plain mashing of words.

There is another who has so many plans and ambitions and is supposedly a genius.

Another on the list is a person who can click with so many people and is tactful and make others feel like she's been around so much.

The next one is a crazy frazy person whom everyone loves.

And the next is the insanely hardworking and focused.

And a few small people with big open personalities.

The person who can gather people's attention almost always with funny lines.

And many many many more.

Haha :)

surprise!

2010-10-07T22:38:00.003+08:00

I was planning in the morning and getting overly excited about today - it's ZHE XIAN'S birthday!! Now you are finally 19!!

Hehe so i thought of a small surprise since I couldn't celebrate with him today (due to TRIALS!!)

So I planned some ice cream from BR, and a visit to his house in the evening and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And just stay for awhile lo. (and enjoy some ice cream!!)

When I got home, I texted him, casually, asking whether he was home. And *KRINGGG* he replied quick! Wheee!

It was something along the line of: I'll be in college til 7pm and then going for dinner and bd dota, the guys are buying! :)

zZzzzZzZzzzz

Plan: FAILED!!!

:) :)

Happy birthday dear dear! hahahahah i hope you had a great birthday!

P/s: birthday play dota, farewell also play dota, post-exams also play dota. Keke.

perhaps it is not so difficult

2010-10-01T18:53:00.003+08:00

You know, I wished that I (could have) had chosen something easier like *rambles* sometimes. Maybe many times too. Okay, many many times. Just that I wasn't really aware.

Like how I wasn't aware that I talk to myself aloud,

or how much I craved ice cream, yum! *chocolate ice cream and red bean ice cream*

random: *sodium glycocholate or sodium taurocholate ie bile salts always gave me an impression of being chocolatey brown :P*

But, you know, I have my own path to walk, so I just don't want to keep looking back.

: )

2010-09-26T13:32:00.002+08:00

I was so angry my head was bursting.

Because you are so stupid.

Can you stop being brainless and start thinking like a normal person would?

inside

2010-09-22T22:51:00.002+08:00

I feel troubled inside, as the days are running by. I am glad that there are my classmates who joke around and lift the otherwise dull atmosphere, and I am glad I have someone to talk to at the end of the day.

But, the trouble inside hides for awhile whilst I take in that breath of air, and reveals itself too soon after.

I know that there is a Comforter who is always there. Thank God.

like a flying turtle

2010-09-12T00:14:00.002+08:00

Sometimes time feels like it's going too slowly. At other times it just jumps and hops away.

Like Saturday nights. Usually, it is a dull night for me. I just come home and wait for sleeping time. Unless like today in which I woke up at around 11 and lazed til 12. So I don't allow me to sleep earlier than 12. But it is one in the morning. But it is still fine...

I studied/read my Bio for about two hours, until even after going out of the room and walking around I am still not able to read another word, then I diverted my attention to the computer. Facebooking a little, youtubing a little, stalking people a little, texting my friend a little. And I ended up ranting to her a lot. Oh gosh. I don't even remember the last time I ranted to a friend. It's been so long. I feel like a healthier person.

Thanks Wong Wee Vien ;)

I suppose a two way conversation is always better than a one way.

People keep leaving, and I am fearful

You comfort me, but you,

You want to leave too.

My friends, I hope I can stay.

not really an epiphany

2010-09-05T13:33:00.003+08:00

I do realize that there was a thing I was being unfair about in the post yesterday - people do ask me, yes they do.

Like once, or twice, or three times in a long time.

It's fine - you asked, you get off the hook because if I don't trust you enough to tell you, then it's nothing that matters you.

I'm fine.

ugly present

2010-09-04T21:55:00.003+08:00

A person who smiles less or doesn't naturally have a face that smiles gets bad press.

If as you grow older you become more of who you already are, then, I think, it's quite depressing.

I don't smile much, or rather have a face that constantly looks moody/unhappy/unapproachable. I don't know why, but I suppose in one way or another it's a choice. I mean, not making a choice is a choice still right?

I used to put so so SO much effort into socializing, especially in 2007. The whole, long year. It was satisfying, but tiring, and draining, and fake. It was satisfying being popular, being known, being the person people want to talk to and being the person people poke fun at many of the times. But it was also tiring smiling all the time, talking enthusiastically to people about things I don't really care about, and putting on a facade became a habit. At the very least, it was an I-enjoy-your-company facade. They were happy, I was happy.

But happiness don't last you very long.

The following year and after, many unfortunate events happened and I just pulled away from people, and that was it. That was the end of people caring and talking and asking. Just because I stopped talking to you doesn't mean you can't come to me to talk. Doesn't mean I don't want to talk. Doesn't mean I hate you guys.

I was unhappy many a times but there were also many times where I got frustrated because I thought I had put in a lot of effort to make my friendships work. I thought they were my friends. But, I suppose it wasn't good enough. One year wasn't enough of a facade to convince anyone that I cherish their company. Nobody really probed, nobody wanted enough to know. When I said I'm fine, they believed me.

Why? Why why why? Because it was a fake. Because I wasn't being myself by being a bubbly person. I concluded, no one tries hard enough to befriend a person who doesn't look interested to talk to anybody.

I anguished. Why didn't any one of my friends bother to find out? Why didn't you get out of your way just to make sure I was honestly fine? I changed so much, why didn't anyone ask why? More specifically, why didn't anyone ask ME why?

Why are people afraid of being honest to me? I know I am fragile, but I am so highly breakable? Or, am I so unpleasant?

Time passed, I just let it lay dormant.

Maybe you thought you needed to let me have some time. Good thinking, 'cause I had plenty of time being resentful about it too.

Sigh.

I like the people in Form 6. They are honest (haha honest about how much they hate you), and they are busybodies, and they give me food when I am upset. We can have our own cliques, but at least everyone tries to make it work.

Gosh, they do try.

People like me, they get bad press. I think, I have long begun to hate people.

I guess, I'm not myself when I'm with people. I'm not as good a driver when there are people in the car with me. I'm not so fluent when I try to express myself than when I am talking to myself. I am like this awkward teenager who is in this phase, trying to fit in. Except that it has lasted years too long. Maybe I need to accept myself, and not think too much about how weird everything is, and start.

Merdeka! Merdeka! hehe holidays are coming...

2010-08-31T19:10:00.006+08:00

Some things we did for merdeka :D You gals and guys rock!

Don't mess with me!

The killer face! Be afraid, be very afraid!

Oops hehe Shirren is behind the camera!

Wheee!

Me sari mammas :D

Svelt cheongsam-mers! *drool*

Bribery XD

The ladies ;)

Someone trying to sabo...

Merdeka Day itself :D

I had this idea, that is to stencil the hibiscus onto large sheets of paper for our noticeboard instead of pasting cut-out flowers on them like we did last year, and it turned out really pretty! (thanks to shirren, chui har, yiwen and mages for staying back!and kar inn for taking care of the leaves part when we were rushing!:) Hehe even I didn't expect the end result to look so pretty.

And then somehow, after just a toilet break I came back to people really gungho-ing about the whole thing! Like getting us costumes to wear! Hehe, sorry for not really listening to the whole traditional clothes idea at first, it was a really good thing you guys picked it up :D

And honestly still, I don't know how SO MANY sets of clothes came about! It's. Kind. Of. Amazing!!!

Fact: Dressing up for that day for really fun!

When the judges came, and we did our little welcome greeting, I was actually honestly happy that we did all these thing together, and comforted myself that it'll be alright if we didnt win. I mean, how often do we impress the teachers like that right ;)

For those who *ahem* took a day off on the Merdeka's Eve, we (mostly form 6s and one or two form 5s) has a mini fashion show to showcase the array of simply beautiful, colourful (and mostly gorgeous-ful!) clothes!

*Cough* though the singing 'performance' could be better, no doubt....it was absolutely not important because our class won a prize! Ahh we've hardly won anything this big before;D

:) Happy holidays everyone!

goodbye seems to be the hardest word

2010-08-16T19:15:00.004+08:00

My cousin's other grandma just passed away, and I just found out that my friend from SUSOM had also recently suffered the loss of her father due to liver cancer.

It's a shock; it instantly glooms.

Life is brief, is it not? For some, however, the life of a loved one is shorter, and yet we can't really share the pain, to ease the burden.

The Malay proverb rings true - berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul.

news, they come and go. but the pain, it shakes the soul

stay strong my dears

group study

2010-08-10T22:11:00.004+08:00

Today (finally!) a few of us stayed back in school to study. Yi Wen, Shirren, Chui Har, Shiang Leng and I went to the library after lunch and were talking and joking a bit before starting our group study. One of the first few questions was : how does a group study work?

Because, all of us, with the exception of Shiang Leng, have not done a proper group study before so we were really unsure of how this whole "group study helps you to study better" concept.

Before long, though, we were all sitting quietly, reading Nervous System and asking each other stuff. :)

Then, a thought came into my head: what if the Form 5s studying in the library went desperate for answers and decide to ask us form 6s? I mean, we're around 2 years their senior right? We're supposed to know the answer! And after I told the rest and we laughed about how paiseh we would be if we weren't able to give them an answer, true enough, Hilary asked me to go over to her table and she asked me to help her with an Add Math question.

Ahhh I tell you ahh I got quite kan cheong there ;). But it was something that I knew well in Form 5 and also something that us form 6s still have in our syllabus; so it was no prob;D haha. It was normal distribution btw.

Hmmm, even if now I am honestly not good in most subjects, it was a booster for me to continue doing what I do - even if arguably - best, ie study.

I hope the 2-week break won't break my momentum.

Serious problem..

2010-08-04T20:23:00.002+08:00

UGH I have to stop eating constipation food!

Bread pizza noodles fried whatever ie ANYTHING that doesn't contain fibre at all!

I dunno la toilet business is quite..urm, stressfull huh?

But...I can't stop myself.....bread is so tasty and pizza, pizza just speaks for itself! Noodles come in a variety and fried food...well okay la that one is skip-able. Say NO to chicken skin and the fat it comes drizzled in!

The thing is, no one ever serves enough vege, and fruit is scarce at home. What is this eating habit we are habitually practicing?

Horrible horrible, tsk tsk. I shall go grocery shopping on my own next time. Hmmpf.

who says it is not important?

2010-07-28T19:34:00.002+08:00

There is always something else that is more important to pay. If I were to say that shopping is overrated, it is pure sour grapes. It is amazing how some people can fork out tens and twenties and eighties, like, all the time. At least it seems like it.

Ah, this is not one pleasant thing to write about.

so happy la :)

2010-07-19T15:34:00.006+08:00

Hoho Sport's Day is done and over with...and last week Monday was also me & zx's 1 1/2 years anniv :)

so happyyy :):)

*lick* :)

Haha, yellow roses.... blek! Okay, best friends forever too ;)

Faster come back from your vacation in Aussie! 6 more dayss~

2010-07-11T21:04:00.003+08:00

I'm trying not to get too excited like a (really) young teen girl..!

XD Ahhh!

And I'm not talking about the world cup -.- heck no.

I'm talking about Eclipse! Edward and Jacob! Ahhh! One is so hot and the other is so cool! Ahahahhah help me. I just watched it about a couple of hours ago with Shirren and Rui Zhi, and it's like sinking in now...!!

*squeeels*

Sorry Zhe Xian ;) but Jacob, he doesn't own a shirt, what can I do?

Oh, and Bella is fine :) Team Bella!

changes for now

2010-07-04T15:51:00.002+08:00

I think I have finally accepted that I have changed. :)

SMILE!

Rocks can be eroded even by droplets of water alone over time; human character definitely can change over routine and events.

I think it is a neutral thing. :)

Anyway, the 'opening of the rat' day was finally over on Thursday and although the whole of thurs was just filled with *probably imaginary* dead rat and poop smells, and flashbacks of orange coloured intestines, and white fur and liver and lungs...........it was fine and much better for most of us on Friday, I believe.

And Yann ie the French guy has left Malaysia. Byee~

No more imported table neighbour...

The best part? He picked up our ''No la!" :D

worried sick

2010-06-24T23:06:00.004+08:00

Talking about insecurities, let me talk about death. Am I going to die? Yes, sooner or later.

Am I paranoid? Yeah. Very much. I told my mom that I want to have a blood test done because I think that it's not normal for me to not recover from infections even though they are mild enough. Then again, I haven't honestly been following the prescriptions thoroughly, because I don't like taking meds because I think I've been taking too much of them.

I mean like, you can ask my classmates you know. They see me taking meds like once every two months and they're already wondering what's wrong with my health...

I've been cleaning my house trying to make it more sanitary because the cat is honestly making the floor (and everywhere) gross. Maybe it was gross to start with but cat brings the dust and everything out. And I've been telling my parents that we need to keep our things and the house cleaner!

And I've been taking my vitamin Cs and I've been (sort of) exercising but when this health thing comes up it is a tough task for me to think about other stuff - stuff that doesn't make me anxious or uneasy.

I don't know. There is like this gray cloud around and above my head.

i'm not listening anymore of this

2010-06-19T23:18:00.004+08:00

I think I am going to explode.

Yesterday I was tremendously upset when a guy I hardly even know said that I should sleep early (it was at 12.30am he said that) because I had DARK eye circle.

Thanks for the mind boggling information. I'm sure tens of thousands of people telling me that is just quite enough to remind me of the circle of darkness that I'm not capable to beg release from.

This absolutely absolutely unnecessary comment makes me tired. I'm tired of people telling me I look tired, I look sick, I look pale, and asking me if I had a late night; YES I had a late night so maybe I need some peace and quiet?

And no you're not the first one to mention so can you please even with your slightest imagination think about how irritated I am about this? I've bashed myself up about this about a hundred times a day now, thinking about how bad I look and how it's justifiable for you guys to "tell me" how bad I look...well it's not anymore now that you know I hate it.

If I'm not allowed to do anything, it's not this that I'm not allowed to do - being superficial. Because, in the end, YOU and I, we're all just insecure freaks.

Thank you.

masks

2010-06-17T00:04:00.003+08:00

I can't cope with the changes.

Another ever-since-young : Ever since I was young I really dislike changes. Change in plans, I throw a tantrum. People leave, I cry. I learn to deal with it, but it's still present tense.

Hhmm. It irks me that some people don't change - the irresponsibility even in the small things, that is the worst. And the best part, they become extremely nice to you when they need a favour. I mean, go away with the facade.

Facades. They are intriguing. They are what we put on, what we want people to perceive us as. Masks, even. Think of masquerades where people stride and socialise, but the masks being metaphors of the picture we put up every time we meet different people.

Actually, I can't imagine gathering every one of my friends in one place; I think I can be 10 different people for that one day. Vastly different, no, but communicating wise, yeah. One thing's for sure, I wouldn't dominate the conversation. Dominating the whole time would be ...tsk. I don't know how some can talk so much and yet it's good, so they'll talk and there will be less awkward silence, while I just listen or stone :)

Anyway, back to the facade thing. I can't wrap my mind around different people who seem like they are putting on a facade but are actually the real thing. It boggles my mind. It doesn't connect. It doesn't make sense. Maybe it does, but not to me now.

Ahh, learn learn, slowly.

think

2010-06-03T19:21:00.002+08:00

We've only got 86 400 seconds in a day.

I just found and read a friend's blog, and I admired how much she expresses in her blog, yet subtly hiding names...

I would never be able to tell so much in my blog, which is a good thing because I have a lot of things to hide.. haha, and never feeling comfortable enough to hide names and talk ambiguously about certain topics. I tried, but it's not something I like doing either.

Write a lot, or don't write about it at all.

Hmmm.

When I was a child, I was not allowed to speak or interrupt adult people talking. So I listen. And wait.

My aunty told me that she asked me to say please or thank you when I took chocolate/candy/sweet stuff that children like, and I looked at her with teary eyes and put it back into the container - I'd rather not take the candy than say it, she said. She said I had principle. Haha.

I don't think that was the case. I think, it was more towards me thinking it was her way of saying I couldn't have it. Somehow to me, the other way wasn't a possibility.

And no, it's not cute to me. Just sad.

Hmmm. I think, I started having preconceptions about people from young. So, I know that a statement can be very ambiguous to people in general, or to me as a young child in specific.

When I was young too, I thought a lot. I thought that if a whole cake was cut into half, and the half was halved, and on, there would be a point where the cake (however small) could not be cut into half any longer. Now I know it as an atom..but an atom has smaller particles to it too.......it was cheese cake by the way XD I imagined a cheese cake. When I imagined a Kancil, it was red, and so when I started going out with Zhe Xian I always imagined his car being red and not navy blue as it is. It took me some time to get used to it. x)

There was also a point where I didn't ask questions when someone told me things about him or herself. Mainly because I thought I knew the answer and reasoning to my questions, but I found out I was wrong as I listened to others converse. So I ask nowadays. Except that my questions are so boring they are boring me until I don't ask as much anymore. -.-

It's a learning process, I suppose.

Happy times as always :D

2010-06-02T21:37:00.003+08:00

I want to write about happy things, like Happy Time Retreat in Malacca! haha

The resort was run by a family, the father being half Chinese and half European and his name was Vincent (we know that thanks to Kheng XD), so his children looked mixed too with fair skin and hazel eyes.....mmmm...Haha, El Sanctuary really felt like a sanctuary, with lots of plants everywhere and with happy dogs running around greeting visitors, demanding pets on their heads :)

The chalet looked really nice, just it was peppered with small dead insects and live ones as well, and Sarah J met a gecko in the toilet! "Hullo Sarah nice to meet you!" said the striped gecko:)

The first session was an awesome start with the worship and the discussion that we direly needed...we all decided that we are going to have more non-office hour outings! -FOR LEADERS ONLY- ;)

There was a point where all of us laid out our youth's strengths, and to-be-improved's and it was a kind of light we needed, I needed, to see the things we've been ignoring....

Then there was Jonker Street, that was so awesome (I think mainly because I have a thing for pasar malams ! :D :D)and so crowded, and so awesome! XD Oooh tomorrow's Thursday- pasar malam day!

Anyway, Jonker Street was on the second and last night so when we reached the resort Iris called it a night and then seven of us had our Taboo going on! That was until 1 something in the morning...the black out! Boom!

*pitch black* *don't scream* *stay calm*

The owner already went back to sleep and it was raining heavily and it didn't help that the resort was in the middle of the woods...with lots of insects! The guys tried to un-trip the box but it didn't work so we stayed where we were with the amazingly bright torchlight under a styrofoam cup to prevent blinding someone's eyes...oh no the insects started attacking us! Scream scream scream! Okay off the torchlight!

*darkness* *thunders*

Jokes...stories...scares (where Kheng heard footsteps and asked the rest if we heard anything, and he talked about his nightmares...only later on Huey Wern said that she was stamping her feet to get rid of insects:)

The rain slowed down and then....Yew San said he really needs to go to the toilet. And Amanda too. And me too. Ugh I was crossing my legs the whole time...

ADVENTURE! :D

Except, by morning Uncle Vincent said he knew there was a black out and wanted to go back to the coffee house to on the lights for us, but he changed his mind because it was about time we go to sleep.

-.-

surprises

2010-05-20T10:33:00.002+08:00

I just read many of my friends' blogs and I realise that it is nice to hear from them eventhough I'm just reading a part of their life..like, I wouldn't know that SK has a crush on some one and FH has PMS eventhough he is a dude and that WV had flash mob in her college or that Shr was so determined and stressed..

It is a lot of words to read, but they're all that bring meaning.

Well, midterm exams are over so quickly that my mom only found out I had exams on my last day. But surprisingly I haven't raised any suspicion because I'd been studying at a few nights the weeks before. So all that cramming somehow didn't give clue to her. Hehe.

Since exams are over, orientation starts (with the L6!) and I skipped school today because

I wanted to chill for a day at least
I realised that I'm having a bad tummy's day.

Moving backward, during the middle of my Math2 paper, I felt a sharp pain in my abdominal area and told myself, hold on, and then it went away thank God. But now I have to suffer periodical stomach aches and calls to the loo.

That's the way it is.

Don't lie to me

2010-04-29T21:00:00.005+08:00

There is something seriously wrong with my computer's Mozilla when I try to load blogger, it just redirects. So I'm using IE now! x)

Anyhow, I recently (recently being a day ago :) started watching this show, Lie to Me, (thanks Zhe Xian! x) where there is this group of people in a private firm, they specialise in reading facial expressions and body languages, to tell whether a person is lying or telling the truth or is a manipulator or is about to attack someone. It's pretty interesting actually, to focus on telltale signs of what a person is feeling.

It would really be tiring though.

The main lady, I can almost feel her ignoring her husbands lying ways, although she is so good at detecting all these movements and expressions from other people.

The main guy, well, he just refrains himself from letting people know that he knows...at many times. Like when his daughter lied to him on the phone, he just let it pass.

Colleagues knowing when you are telling the truth, or not, and vice versa, and that they actually are mentioning that you're lying. I mean, come on...seriously? Well I OBVIOUSLY didn't know that I was lying, duh!

It's a pretty exhausting thing I suppose.

IMAGINE this: you look at a person and you'll know from a smirk, or a half-second frown, or the pursing of the lips, what that person is feeling. A twitch in the shoulder, a step backwards, the movement of a thumb; you see all these and instinctly and instantly, know.

Imagine.

Oh goodness, I'm really caught in this show.

Toilet

2010-04-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

I did a good deed today; I cleaned the house (eew!) toilet bowl! inside and out! of course with the brush!
It was really gross.

Lol.

MUET

2010-04-22T22:54:00.002+08:00

Ahh I really dislike this feeling; I hope it's going to be alright.

Considering the MUET coming, perhaps I should widen the range of my vocab. Then again, I only have one day left.

This is a real bummer, hmpf.

2010-04-18T14:51:00.001+08:00

Cantankerous. I like that word. But not what meaning it brings.

i don't need this type of cycling

2010-04-18T00:07:00.002+08:00

I'm stuck at this place where I have to do so many things; some of which I like, some, not so. It's difficult, and I hope I can not depend on my mood so much; it wastes a lot of my time. But my mood and my mind are so engaged! It is this thought that that I thought of that led me to think more and I become uncertain of certain things where I turn moody and think more. It's this crazy cycle!

I know I'm not alone in this.

And, as usual, I need to get a (sustainable) hobby.

tsk Streamyx

2010-04-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

So I'm happy with the new line and the WiFi, but my mom came home just now looking so somber, then she mentioned that the package that we got like one week ago has a new price but it is not applicable to us; it is now RM 12 cheaper per month! Our contract is for 2 years, so it's almost RM300 worth of savings, only if we had waited for this package.

But how can they do this? It is almost like them cheating their customers, and it was a university package for UC students! Cheating uni students now eh? Is this what they are resorting to? Do they expect the current users to pay the old price and the new users to pay RM300 less? Not only did they not list the period of the promotion, now they are changing the prices as they like. The 10, 000 users who applied for the old package better complain!

It's bad enough that this company doesn't have a good reputation for their service and all. Now, they are just silently hoping that their customers will be duped in oblivion.

did you know?

2010-04-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

..that for the past 3 days I've been having trouble breathing, sleeping? Did you know that I am having an exam tomorrow? Did you know that I've been having bad cravings for food, and I've been resisting? That I was tired, and even sleeping caused me to have a back muscle ache? Did you know that I was worried about my health?

most responsible

2010-04-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

That got me thinking...am I the most responsible? I mean, I definitely hold the most responsibility for the class, but does that mean I'm the most responsible person in 6AS?

Haha! I know it's not meant to be taken literally but it just struck me, so I did contemplate it a bit.

Anyway, I'm talking about the 'AWARDS' for each person in the class page we're doing. I'm going to stay up with my brother (thank God for brothers!) to do one of the two pages for the school magazine, Yi Wen already did the other one! Thank God for Yi Wen too XD

Lao Poh Poh

2010-03-20T21:08:00.001+08:00

Haha the aircond was so strong.....

reasons

2010-03-18T19:45:00.004+08:00

This holidays feel like a long weekend. So soon and it's Thursday night already...hmmm.

Anyway, camp FOC (Focus on Christ) was

definitely not foc XD
very prayer-filled
more chillax than most camps, for me
so awesome! Because I know that it was one of the best decisions I made

Why? Because it helped me, to come to terms with so much of turmoil in me. I had to come face to face with my fears and my past and all that I felt about it.

It's a lot to deal with. But I thank God, and gratitude is good :)

Anyhow, I am not really looking forward to being older. I remember last year it just came and left, and like any other day, life just went on.

Maybe it's because it is more significant so I have a relative point to measure time? And it's scary cuz time is passing like a bullet train?

Or maybe I still want to 'teen teen dei' but I only have this year left.

Or whatever. I can come up with hundreds of excuses. Huh.

Maybe I'm just scared and scared to be disappointed and scared to do anything fun/extreme/outragous, anymore. Too much risk. Argh. Stupad. So stupad.

:(

let's do this!

2010-03-08T21:50:00.003+08:00

Heh, okay so CNY is over, Hamper Day too, and Canteen Day(in which it's not really the whole day just a couple of hours lol!) now it's time to get serious. Wait, another week of break is here soon??

Hmmm.

This is dangerous. Very dangerous. Too dangerous to chill and relax now. It's mid-March soon already and April fool's is coming and midterm....too dangerous. Time to skip some sleep and work at the hours I'm best at, nighttime, midnight, where there are people at home but there is also peace and quiet.

That is good.

Work hard fellow form 6-ers, we're here to change our lives and it starts now.

Eh? homework haven't do ..............

Genting Highlands

2010-01-31T18:25:00.002+08:00

Saat-saat genting? Haha

Ngaum!

Japanese for king?

2010-01-31T18:02:00.003+08:00

DND: Oh great guru is thinking about the wonders of this world....

He looks so sexy in this picture X)

Maoh = King, in Japanese...that's what my bro said. Haha...and at first he also said that he wanted to change Maoh's name to Elvis..imagine that!

tearing up for school

2010-01-28T20:21:00.005+08:00

Haha it's only a dream for so many students...

Guess what? U6 Bio 2010, BURNED (a very small part of) THE SCHOOL!

It's only so cool when you're part of it!

Hohoho...

The smoke was really bad; all of us smelt like dried barbecued meat and our eyes teared like mad..and a form 5 student had difficulty breathing her mom called the ambulance ~.~ and another afternoon session student was asthmatic too.....oops.

Only, the burning wasn't out of retaliation towards the whole form 6 system, lol....but it was towards termites!! The infestation was horrible - the notice boards were disintegrating from the inside and even an exercise book stuck behind the cupboard was eaten halfway! Let me tell you this - ripping the boards off, we saw how gross it really was...

Too bad there aren't any pictures of the boys tearing down the boards..XD

Talking

2010-01-26T21:24:00.003+08:00

We just talked and talked and talked for 2 hours, and I love talking to you too, just about anything and there is little sugarcoating and so much humour in just saying it outright, and knowing that I can do that with freedom and with little hesitation because it's you...it's nice to have the same wavelength with someone close.

Hearts for u :)

We need it, no?

2010-01-25T19:34:00.003+08:00

Hmmm today I tried to be more productive by not taking my usual 4-hour nap...yeah four. I mean, maybe it's the realisation from Puan T's scolding, although it wasn't me who had to face it while class teacher and PK T6 were in the room..poor Say Joon! Haha..

It was something like...

"..worst batch ever.."

"..your class is so unproductive.."

..and of course, comparing us with our more diligent seniors...help!!

And yeah, she does always look like she's smiling, even when she's criticizing.

It's just, I don't know how else to take all those words, if not by working harder and taking less naps. Of course, I'm being ideal here.

Marking it off the list

2010-01-18T21:08:00.003+08:00

I have a few things I want to keep in mind this year:

Keep things simple and over analysing is bad
Study -.-
Procrastinate less
Focus on the happy things
Like the things that I do

Okay I know my blog is semi abandoned right but still it's breathing!

I just had to blog, for this day we finally handed in our 3 Bio projects. No more of plants and insects, shall we say?! Oh yes, I came back to a moth right above my house door. They know when it's over too yeah?;)

Soon after the designated time(recess) to hand in the projs, there was a brief meeting for the form 6 class monitors where we were told of a class decorating competition for the Anti-Drug Week during the second week of February. Ah the work just keeps on coming. OH and a question was posed, ' do we have koko marks for this?' - and we were told off for being so calculative and not placing more importance on core values. So it was a no after all. Oh, and we would be in trouble if we do not participate also. Anyway, back to the question... I do see why that question was asked - it was more work for us. I'm pretty sure decorating the class doesn't help much in preventing drug abuse...

Honestly, I know you might say that I'm being shallow or narrow-minded. But we're Form 6ers and you asked us to be more out of the box and think and act like adults and to be prepared for the real world. Yet you also said that we are still in high school and still students nonetheless. So explain to us. This is the real world no? We don't do work for naught. Yeah yeah the experience and the knowledge and the cooperation among students. We've been doing all these for 5 years and a half, so I think it's alright for us to complain just a little bit. It's not even fun. Not really. Especially not really when the whole class just want classes to finally start.

Sigh. And you know what? I went back to the class after the meeting and I told a friend. She asked me a question: Got koko marks ah?

You see?

Oh yes, referring to the top; like the things that I do..I guess I have to include this too. But I like typing out all these too :)

reflection?

2010-01-05T00:57:00.001+08:00

It's all about last year?

If there is something I learned last year, it's that after crying, you just get on with life.

:)

2010-01-02T11:18:00.010+08:00

Some pictures from last year. Can't imagine how a day makes all the difference right? Hmm. Me too.

My cat just licked the tuna can clean, lol...no wastage!

He was so thin!

strings in a thought

2009-12-28T03:40:00.005+08:00

I just wrote some rhyming words..well actually plenty of rhyming words, in the past hour plus, and my head hurts my eyes feel like popping out from the pressure in my head..i think it's called a headache. *Rhyming words not here*

How am I going to go to Midvalley? I think I'll cancel, and get a hobby.

I don't know what to do. It's such a pain in the ass, and maybe I...have gas?

It's def NOT as good as it gets ;)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words words words. Turmoil turmoil turmoil. Say turmoil TEN times! *random*

Say 'head egg' TEN times! It's more difficult than saying 'headache' ten times ;)

I miss my crazy cousin, Jazzy. When are we going out?

I miss my babysitter, Mama.

The song from the dolly cats is stuck in my head, and I hate this part right here.

Woman, without her man, is nothing.

Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

I think! I need to sleep. Been up for almost 21 hours.

i've always known

2009-12-28T02:30:00.005+08:00

Here comes a post, an unnecessary burden

Here comes a package better left unopened

It was a time bomb, either now or never

So take the risk or simply snip the coloured wires

You chose the latter you took the risk

You know your heart works better in one piece

And it's true for you the rain wasn't as wet

And although it was pouring it had less effect

You loved you loved

You spent your time

You loved you loved

And they say love is blind

Now hey you're busy, your time is taken

Here comes a message, a thousand words unspoken

You know I keep shut, never much a sayer

For the price catapult, I'll have to be the payer

Life's standing still but not so the bills

I'm literally saying and metaphorically paying

You said cool down and think dear you've gotta chill

Bro said cool down and think sis get off the grill

You loved you loved

You mended your crime

You loved you loved

Now can I have some time?

I've always known; I needed a life

So now it's time to prioritize

No more waiting no more desertin'

It's time to see life's in the makin'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a rap

2009-12-15T18:10:00.001+08:00

Ahhhh I CAN'T TAKE IT!!

TAYLOR SWIFT!!! I LOVE YOUU!!

From Love Story to Thug Story :)

busy busy busy

2009-11-28T01:06:00.003+08:00

Ahh ahh so busy! Have to go out, have to watch movie, and there's SALE! Sigh.... XD

No no...there's Bio (plants to press and, dang, six eyelashes just came out..okay randomness aside...the seventh just came out...okay ahem, and there're bugs to catch and dry...and Bio quadrat -.-).

There's also caroling in which I'm in charge or admin...basically some contacting and typing :) And there's a trip to Frasers Hill soon, and in early Dec I'll follow my mom and her cg to Ipoh! wakakaka

Busy busy :)

Pin-ing for you

2009-11-23T19:22:00.004+08:00

LOOK! lol Yi Wen Yi Wen....

oh supposedly, yiwen made a mistake and pinned the butterfly's wings, so don't do that :)

Brain drain

2009-11-16T18:13:00.003+08:00

...due to the rain. Seriously. It's so...monotonous.....

Rain rain rain. It's been raining since...11am! Uugh and it has to rain on the day when we were going to do our quadrat. Well well we did it anyway but...let's just say there was compromise here and there.

Pictures!

Dear dear,

2009-11-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

Happy 10th month! :)

there are no boundaries

2009-10-28T16:23:00.002+08:00

It rained, AGAIN! And this time it ain't just drizzling.

Yi Wen's mom sent us around, yay! :D Four of us went to one of the Taman Megah fields to look for a suitable place but it's just short grass grass grass everywhere! Or tall trees =/

Then we went to one of the fenced site near my place and it was kinda...scary. We didn't even enter thru the relatively large opening because it was really really wet, and sandy, and if we wanted to go inside we would have to tread on the fallen fence downwards. And there were frogs. Weird sounding ones. Croak. CroakcroakcroakCroakcroakCroakCroakcroakcroakCroak.

So after dropping my stuff home and changing we went to the one nearer to my house; we all managed to get into the place through the small opening and there were some thorns, but inside, it was kinda beautiful. Tiny flowers were blooming everywhere, and grassy and sandy areas just there being pretty. Kind of like nature undisturbed. But of course some people had to ruin it by digging the soil -.-

We can't help it! It's for Bio. *Shrugs*

While we were digging some man standing on a high pile of sand (like a tiny hill!) shouted at us. I just ignored him hoping he would go away. And then there was a dog coming towards us! I thought that it was going to bark and bite us - that was before I saw that it was kinda cute and it also turned away from us, haha. The man came and, he was the guard asking us how we got in and what we were doing...... Of course they had to do that sowhydidihavetheideaofhimascarymanwhotakesadvantageofyoungwomen...? So we explained to him, and he was fine with it, and then he left us alone, good thing!

The umbrellas didn't really help; we were all wet - hair dripping wet, clothes damp, body cold from the wind. Haha, drama.

But we did it :D

adventure is out there!

2009-10-27T17:39:00.004+08:00

Today the MUET listening just took around 20 min although in the schedule it says 40 min and the test paper says 30 min...oh no I'm so confused..!

After school Yi Wen, Chui Har, Shirren and I planned to go to the Sahara Field to see if it is okay to do our bio experiment there. It rained awhile so we left school while it was drizzling...and we started cutting plants and flowers!!! NO WE'RE NOT MAD! We're just starting our bio plant collection project and it just seemed like a nice neighbourhood with plenty of flowering plants and jungles(!) planted around! It's stealing, definitely stealing, cutting up bushes and shrubs like that...lol.

We were watching, steadily watching if there was anyone looking...but most houses had their glass door tinted..LOL I was always prepared to run.

And guess who (Huey Lin!) came, riding in her bike? to show off!

Anyhow now we have many snippets in hand and we just need to flatten them between thick books piled up and literally only time can tell if we are able to use them for the scrap book.

--------------------------------------------

Say Jun: Teacher can we use Rafflesia ah??

Me thinks: Use cactus la!

--------------------------------------------

And the field, no it isn't suitable for our experiment, too clean and civilised.....so tomorrow we will be taking the train to Taman Jaya to check it out. Road trip!

Post

2009-10-23T22:02:00.005+08:00

It's over it's over! Haha, I just read SK's blog; very entertaining...I think I'm a mix of those 3 groups. However, to specify: Cat-C wayy before exams and Cat-B during exams. Life's like that.....

I like form 6. Less than a week of exam and it's over! Go away form 5 go away!

From many 'testimonies' I heard it seems that failing is a necessary (mostly inescapable!) part of life...in form 6! Many can attest to that now......

I have to admit it. I was emotional about it and a lot of other things. The fact is I told my mom, actually told my mom, that I will fail a few subjects and her face just gradually became...a little upset. I thought she would have bombed or something, seriously. But she was oh-so-kind to me; she mentioned that if I needed help (I'm not into drugs or alcohol or cutting my hand!) I'll need to tell her.

Finally someone has heard my faint cries.

Lol. Operation Tuition (OT) will commence soon enough.

2009-10-19T13:20:00.002+08:00

I have no interest in it anymore, all my interests for it had been used up and now frustrations replace it effortlessly.

I am no more a good student.

mind

2009-10-16T17:04:00.003+08:00

I gota study. Like, seriously. Although it is so boring, I gotta study. Like, seriously.

*chants in me head*

(-_-)

sigh

exams is so the soon. why are you not trying your head off to tok shi leh?It's too much effort

how many fails do you want?Anyway it wouldn't be more than 5

you want to get grounded?NO of course not

then?I can't do it.My eyes close and my head goes dizzy

excuses!Yes they are

sigh. why are you like this? what happened? had it so much impact that you've lost your mojo? why did you let yourself fall like that? you never used to be like that..even if you were lazy you worked hard and you worked smart when it was time to prove yourself. now it just doesn't matter..?what would it take to pick yourself up again?

I foresee your few red marks to come..cry your HEART OUT!

Hols

2009-09-28T16:18:00.002+08:00

Hmm mmm mm, hols is like tat la..at least I don't have the much dreaded feeling of starting school again since, well technically I didn't really have a holiday rite ;)

And VERY THE BERRY good news! Wednesday onwards dah boleh balik pukul 1.40! Gembiranya....

It is so called our 'study break'..

Hmm.

Working in Watsons was a tad boring la, but what do I suppose.....at least the people there were like funny and truly like a happy family and not mean and barbaric. It's like what Kak Kom said, "hubungan mereka kuat, kan". And they don't make us feel outside, not really. Haha

must be funny in a rich man's world

2009-09-24T21:13:00.002+08:00

Sigh. Money and I don't click, i think. Being the cashier is quite pressuring at the starting, when you need to count the float (try counting like, 8ringgit worth of 5cents! fast!) and at the end, when they see whether you have enough cash, excess or short...SHORT!

@_@ short of 50 + first day, in which there was, miraculously, excess of 50 bucks in the safe, forgotten to void the receipt the second day(this one really had to pay), n counted wrongly so less 100 bucks at first for 3rd day(today)...a scare.

I don't want to be the cashier already...although it's more fun than passing metal baskets to customers......the RISK. but I can't say no. :( so, just "Have Faith"

The first day I became one of the cashiers, one of the pharmacist was wearing a shirt with that phrase and I saw that after I was told about the shortage..it helps, somewhat.

stupid holiday

2009-09-21T23:40:00.003+08:00

I just hate so many things now. I hate feeling guilty for going out and leaving my mom home alone, and i hate my brother for always being so..urrgh! how do you even describe a person like tat..it's just beyond lazy and disgusting and , come on! we already have enough to do, iron your own freaking shirt instead of leaving it on the board and going to sleep..who's gona do it for you, your fairy godmother?? stop being like that!

My transporter told me just a few days after i started sitting in her van, that guys are always spoilt because mothers are not strict. And I thought, that's not true...then she said, mothers are very strict with their daughters, but for their sons they always give another chance, give another chance, another chance....................and they just end up being disappointing husbands and fathers to their family later on, and I thought, that is so freaking true.

well whatever la..and i'm not even pms-ing..just pissed that i always always always have to feel this way..keep your own burdens! do your own stuffs! don't ask me to off the lights, ask tat person playing dota for the sixth hour..!

Another thing; i'm also on the verge of hating myself..so stupid, work so many days for what? where's all the money gona go to? Make yourself so tired and uncomfortable for what?? STUPID!! *STOMPS on imaginary self*

sigh. dumbass

live and let live

2009-09-11T22:24:00.003+08:00

Today during CF I wrote in the prayer box that I may have open-mindedness since there are many different kinds of difficult people in this partially new school I'm in. I mean, with no particular reference to any groups of people, we need to have...

Maturity in order to prevent from doing or speaking about pointless things to prove a point, in a way that people don't even notice..what happened to speaking face to face?
And, also, good timekeeping. Where did that go? Do we like to make other people, whom we hardly know, wait for us?
And definitely more diligence for everyone since we are constantly bombarded with projects and proposals and presentations, yeah the 3Ps.
Oh, and not forgetting better memory for a particular girl whose memory is so bad she forgot about getting almonds to...well, improve her memory.

Hmm, I need to do this - live and let live...

"Life goes on, bla bla bla" (Lol, pn L**, please don't sue me!)

On a brighter note,

*thinks for 5 minutes*

Oh! I seem to have higher metabolism these past few days. How is this a brighter note? Haha. Chiak!

And definitely I feel smarter already being in Form 6. Compared to bumming during the first half of this year, it is now like, high concentration of works and words....*the species is therefore given two latin names, the first for genus and the second, species...organisms are placed under the same species if they can interbreed and produce a fertile offspring...*

I think I'm supposed to feel nerdy; when I do my stuff I remember scenes and and sentences from the science classes, I remember Pn T***'s half smiling-half annoyed face..I remember Pn H****** trying to hold her laughter while threatening us...

:) someone wants to do Form 6? don't discourage it.

it's so fulfilling!

2009-09-10T23:39:00.001+08:00

Haha :D

Holidays

2009-08-27T15:02:00.004+08:00

Okay la, happy belated birthday to mr HHChuin.. :D

Hope u had fun last Saturday, whahah

Sunday night: Sya's farewell dinner
Monday evening: walking at BKiara to burn off Sya's farewell dinner, ahahah...and then Kah Hee sesat!! Grrr
next Friday(to come): Pool party for Sya! Wah Sya's so special huh...but actually, no la, we just use ur name to gather the people ni..keke saje nak keluar
Saturday (to come): Woohoo Lagoon here we come !

Co-curiculum

2009-08-21T10:40:00.005+08:00

I had transport problem so I didn't go to school..Aish, so i missed camming session with Sya...

Anyway just wanted to update about the week!

Hmm early this week it was mainly the Indian kolam thing that we did. It came out nicer than I thought it would be XD

That was our design! Though it was Chui Har who did the drawing and designing...XD the rest coloured!

Then on Wed and Thurs it was the presentation on whether Sex Education should be taught in school. I made a mistake there. I assumed that I would be able to do it on Thursday morning but I was wrong, so I caused my group to do a messy PP presentation..good thing though, that our group only have to do it after the holidays because there wasn't enough time..phew!

And of course Huey Lin was telling me all about hers when I went to her house on Thursday evening. She's like this super interesting and talkative girl who never stops....well, talking. XD

At night, I went for Up! It's like the kind of movie where if I were a child again I would wanna watch it as often as I watched Peter Pan...the fantasy, the flying, the fun!

But yesterday was a tough day.

the Hulk

2009-08-06T17:40:00.002+08:00

This is the first time in a very very long time since I missed 2 days of school because I am (actually) sick...ahaha sorry that I didn't reply many people just now who messaged me on msn, I was sleeping, like I have been for the whole day already. But I feel so touched anyway! (just don't tell me if you're only being nosy :P)

So yea it's like that; I was starting to have flu on Tuesday night so, since I felt dizzy and everything (and there were 5 periods of PA :O) so my mom allowed me to stay home...BUT! The fever developed yesterday night, so I went to the clinic (and I felt so guilty! my mom's super worried look on her face..and then! She turned into the angry Hulk when I dilly dallied when I was supposed to take my meds....uugh bipolar - it's INHERITED).

And the antibiotic! I was so fascinated by it! It has like this super cool futuristic bubble wrapping :D. I know right, so worth the Hulk moments....

Anyway today was spent sleeping..and sleeping..and sleeping...now I feel much much better! Except, I could use a good meal..! I ate bread and bread and bread for my supper yesterday, breakfast and lunch, all just to eat my meds..eew.

So I'll be back to school tomorrow, don't miss me to much 'cause you all will see me soon enough XD

this is not happening

2009-07-23T15:24:00.003+08:00

This is what happens when you try to and hope to and somehow after a long time, do get into an established school with many experienced teachers who teach pre-U students in that particular high school, so that, hopefully, there will be less frus and fuss.

And more important than any of that, it is the hope that you will get a minimum of 'good enough' education eventhough you're stuck wearing uniform and paying only, maybe 10-15 per cent, of the normal fees required than if you were to enroll yourself into a private college. It is that, that is the most important. Everything else, you can just freely allow yourself to close an eye, or both eyes to - the uncoolness (to quote), the assembly, the co-curiculum, the canteen food(not that you're complaining about cheap food..).

Until, there comes a day when your teachers, whom you have known for about a month or so, tell you and your classmates that they will pass on teaching the Lower Form Sixers. For whatever reason, Mr. Gilbert O' Vanderwaals aka the GOV decides that all LFS will have to extend their classes until 3.30pm. And, of course, 'nice, good, and fun' (Pn ******* will whack me for using those words) activities will be held during those extra hours, including extra classes, community works, free labor (since you are all not children any longer) and so on. The problem surfaces right here: the 'old and crotchety'(to quote Pn ***) teachers do not want to be involved in all that if it were to take up their time for siesta. Just kidding. Their time for eating. Just kidding. Their time for their family. No idea. Well whatever it is, obviously the extra pay is not tempting. No need for the word enough. So, offer rejected.

Thus, the passing of Form Sixers 09/10 to 'younger and more youthful' (says Pn ***) teachers. Therefore, everything you wrote in the first two paragraphs can be, in exasperation, stomped on and erased and forgotten until who knows when.

The END.

**Names of teachers are removed for anonymity purposes.

Cool

2009-07-20T20:48:00.003+08:00

Woohoo it's been a day since I'm back from cameronsss! It was fun, short and fun!

Okay, so I wasn't in the I'm-looking-forward-to-the-trip mood on Friday. I was dreading it because it was gonna be for a whole weekend. But it was really, really..how should I say it...enriching? Yes, probably.

I guess we will not forget the Puncak Arabella and the smells of the deposits and the jokes and the Ungame game ;)

And the Big Red Strawberry Farm with the scarecrow ;)

what's in a name

2009-07-11T10:33:00.003+08:00

lol girls from trop, remember that BS= bang sai..

tat's what class i'm in now..lol

-----------------------------------------------------------

alrighty, i'm going out to watch Ice Age 3 later with Rui Zhi and Shirren!

sports day

2009-07-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

I know it's super duper delayed! 2 weeks since -.- but still!! I just saw the pics in facebook so i thought i'd just upload them here! :)

form 6 has been, so far so good....

*oooh the imaginary numbers ooooh*

lol

though, I feel that something is missing...hmmm

anyway.

new school :)

2009-07-06T18:06:00.002+08:00

haha okay relatively new...but even so...i

-donated blood! ahaha tell the whole world~
-was in the winning marching team! (im dark now...thanks to Jojo Mr Commander)
-became the slave of all slaves..in the class
-joined cf there for the first time..woohoo
-have loads of home work.. x)

and huey lin disturbs me all day long..not! luckily..defame her here!!

okay so this blog is somewhat revived now..though, no pics or any cool stuff.

Form Sixer

2009-06-17T16:44:00.002+08:00

oh well at least i finally found out that it went to my current school -.-

and it's approved! whee wheee wheeeeee

to those who have not received theirs, I wish you all the best, Jin Sam especially, whose letter cannot be traced of its existence..yet.

the rest, I will see you in the new school : ))

family school, here I come!!

2009-06-07T15:08:00.001+08:00

Things that happen in a moment is the very same, yet internally it differs indefinitely.

What a wreck of a day. Argh!

2009-05-31T20:53:00.002+08:00

Apparently, nothing is impossible, for the thief.

Stories.

Lies.

Accusations.

Goody-two-faced-shoes.

Although you're going to die soon, we aren't. So stop thinking about YOUR enjoyment, stop making us torn and embarrassed and stuck in your perennial OCD.

DO NOT FALL INTO THE THIEF'S TRAPS.

There is always a price to pay. Money? Trust? Relationship?

Overdue but..

2009-05-18T18:04:00.004+08:00

here goes, the links 1 & 2 to the facebook pix for the kids camp i went..lol IF anyone wanna see them

Anyway, the trip to Singapore was alright. My sis had soo sooooo many hiccups during the whole day! Lack of time and help is one thing; missing your handphone and non-functioning zip on your dinner gown is another! Well she really had an exhausting day there..but she looked gorgeous! She and her husband literally looked like those dolls you see on the wedding cake!

Plus! 'My Humble House', the restaurant, in the Esplanade was awesome! it was like fine dining, one plate per person for every dish, long tables, tall chairs, awesome atmosphere and deco...and good food!! not like normal wedding food..ahaha!

Pics..not available yet :)

2009-05-11T21:53:00.001+08:00

first day of school in smks10kd was...a waste of time..

rawr

2009-04-09T03:16:00.004+08:00

Some of us went to Jul's hse for his birthday and we presented him with his present..DOMO-kun soft toy!

*Rawr!*

Super cute~

In the meantime there were some vids of Domo-kun playing on the com screen and some guitar pedal experimenting... -.-''

haha.

Then, it was Guitar Heroes time! Jeng jeng jenggg~~~fun! But difficult, for the hand-eye-coordination disabled...needless to say I was one of those in that unfortunate category.

*watches with envy :/*

It is, extraodinarily amazing how some people can just be so natural at it. No need for brain to command the finger 1, 2, 3 to click buttons 1, 2, 3. And that is what I needed to do! They can do 1, 2, 3, 4 with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! Don't even mention about the drum set with bass for the feet to tap on. How extraodinarily depressing for me.

Memorising the colours doesn't work.
Following the sequence only work if the rhythm is all equally evened out (in which most of the time it isn't... :/ )

Sigh, this is not my thing..

But it's fun anyway :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Understanding plays a big part in what I remember. Whatever doesn't need understanding, I probably will forget if it wasn't something utterly hilarious or upsetting.

It is NOT good because I forget things so easily. Things like creative ideas, what other people said, what their/my dreams are, what jokes they told, when they told it, what happened, when their birthday is..

Don't ask me if I remember when your birthday is. Unless you remind me every year for the past 4 years or so, or it is a very unique date like feb 29, I most probably don't remember it*. Facebook reminder is not counted.

*Subject to conditions, haha.

space

2009-04-06T13:29:00.004+08:00

An unsuccessful attempt at being artistic; I might as well always remind myself - you FAILED arts, who fails arts? The best part, I thought I was really good. *pfft*

One of my regrets in life.

...

2009-04-02T20:31:00.002+08:00

I just want to hide in my cave and sleep.

Sometimes I think that that would be a good thing to do. Just..not care.

Maybe then it will go away.

Sleeping. At least I would be not conscious and time would pass quicker. At least for that moment I don't continually try to think of why or how or whatever crap. Or that this is some lesson because if it is, I must be a very terrible person to start with. I don't believe so. So I don't want to think of such things. So I sleep.

Excessive sleep has like, the principles of 'getting drunk'. If I want to push my thoughts aside I sleep my day away; night falls, and the day fades, like getting away from the horror. The pain, whatever. So long as it works, it is my pastime. Especially in moments like these. I sleep too much. And that is good.

The only thing that signifies the passing of time is when the calls come, or the messages come through. I check my time, I see that it has been an hour, or 4. Then I decide to continue in my slumber, or I get up to momentarily face my reality veiled by small activities - moving pictures, running taps, blaring music, rhythm of the tapping keyboard.

I try to keep my mind in nothing, think of nothing that has a hint of emotion, just to find that stability somewhere. It has to be somewhere; either that or a massive explosion everytime, which I clearly can neither deal with nor have the stamina to do so. Hence, the monotony.

A few days, that is what I need. Give me a break. Just a couple of days before I start taking care of myself or other people. Just a couple of days of these things to, just, whatever.

I'm like that, so often, no one knows, but me. Now you know, just take it or leave it and let me be. I'll come out of this cycle, that is known. Just for now, I want to think the way I think, idiotic or not.

bites

2009-03-29T19:53:00.003+08:00

It's been some few fantastic days.

I went to the Training-the-Trainers Conference organised by Canaanland on Friday with IrisMelcAlexaAiLingAbelPsMalcolm where we had opportunities to meet many other youth leaders there and discuss together about certain issues present in the youth ministry like shortages of pastors and being equipped for the youths.

It was like, a buzzing place when it was discussion time, and at some times when it didn't just felt like some kiasu thing to do, (lol) it was good exposure to how a few other churches do their stuff, and how we all have very similar things to deal with. And it was like, good to hear from perspectives different from ours yet from people of the same..'job description'.

And then, on Saturday morning there was the Orang Asli trip, where there were a few unexpected things...seriously, a farm on the hill slope?? Seriously, a baby monkey pet?(I've always thought people didn't mean it literally...) So up we went, climbing on our knees, holding on to tree trunks, panting our heads off(or maybe it was just me) and then trying not to slip, shouting, "We're here already??" and the reply, "No there is more!". Just. Stop. Already.

Haha it wasn't that bad la but at that time it seemed that way....we must have looked like pure city kids by then. Anyway the time came where we were (finally) there and then I think we just cleared like, the middle part of the stretch of 'sloppy' land before most of us were resting in the midst of the smoke (oops, save our earth eh??) and enjoyed the scenery from there. The going down was much more fun than the climbing. Just slide down on our butt! Haha and get hit in the middle, oww.

And I have 'joined the ranks of the bitten', to quote MelC. ;P Nope no Edward Cullen, just plain ol' leech, *sigh*.

And the knee pain from two weeks ago came back. Is this what happens after the 18th birthday?

**TOMORROW! Orientation day in KDU.

ZMax 09

2009-03-17T20:38:00.011+08:00

Memorables~
Making f1 cardboard box car! And being the winning team :D
Uncle Allan's puppet, Ernie!
Night court wahaha!
Flag game with Jolene wailing ;P
Forum - the benefits of 'martial arts' HAHA
Gila Punya Malam!
Meeting CBC youths ;p
Quiet time in the outside in the morning chilly air
Playing boggle with Esther, Eliza and Viyien! HAHA
Late night officer meetings to plan fun(and brainstorm for messy games haha)

Thursday the 12th

2009-03-13T10:59:00.003+08:00

:O

My mom cried after she put down the phone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I slept well. Woke up in time. Reached school at 10am. Talked to my friends. Felt the tension when Pn Loi came out with the files and papers. My turn.

Oh.

And then everything was a bluurrr....

I wish! Nah, everything was still normal. I called a teacher, texted another, met the next one, went home and slept til evening, got ready to go to Jia Hui's place and had lots of food sang happy birthday to my friend and myself and had presents and talked and went home and during the whole process of it I asked myself how I felt about my results.