worried sick

Talking about insecurities, let me talk about death. Am I going to die? Yes, sooner or later.

Am I paranoid? Yeah. Very much. I told my mom that I want to have a blood test done because I think that it's not normal for me to not recover from infections even though they are mild enough. Then again, I haven't honestly been following the prescriptions thoroughly, because I don't like taking meds because I think I've been taking too much of them.

I mean like, you can ask my classmates you know. They see me taking meds like once every two months and they're already wondering what's wrong with my health...

I've been cleaning my house trying to make it more sanitary because the cat is honestly making the floor (and everywhere) gross. Maybe it was gross to start with but cat brings the dust and everything out. And I've been telling my parents that we need to keep our things and the house cleaner!

And I've been taking my vitamin Cs and I've been (sort of) exercising but when this health thing comes up it is a tough task for me to think about other stuff - stuff that doesn't make me anxious or uneasy.

I don't know. There is like this gray cloud around and above my head.